The Crown Jewels Part IV: In The Manhole

Hot on the tails of Belle End and Tess Tease, our superheroes suspect they're being aided by that Dickensian devil, Bedageezer Scrooge ...

FlickFaster @BashHelmet So where do we find Bedageezer?

BashHelmet @FlickFaster Look down - what's between my legs, Flick?

Just a dirty manhole, Bash.

Exactly – Bedageezer lives beneath the streets of London in the sewage tunnels.

Really?! But I always believed he was the richest man in England!

He is! There's affluence in effluence, Flick!

Let me uncover the manhole...PHEW! It stinks down there!

Trust me, you get used to the smell. Right, follow me in ...

Bash, up ahead - there's a large group of tramps. Those filthy men are coming right at us!

They're Bedageezer's bodyguards. You keep going while I draw them away.

How do you know they'll follow you and not me?

Because Bedageezer only uses men who are down and out!


Don't worry, I'll lose them in the lower tunnels.


I'll carry on searching along here and work my way from the top down.

And I'll go bottom up.

Later ...


It's been ages since Bash and I split up. I'm not worried - he'll make mincing meat out of those gay tramps if they catch him!

Flick? Is that you? It's Bash – I need a little help here...

(Gasp!) How did you get stuck beneath that huge ceramic block? And what are those tubes going into it?

I fell into this classic Bedageezer Scrooge trap! Those tubes are connected to urinals around Central London.
As people use them, this block fills up and lowers down on me ...

... until you're crushed! Talk about peer pressure!

Quite! Can you pull me out from under here...(Ugnff) Thanks!

You're welcome!

Did you come across any boobytraps?

Well, I nearly snagged one on a rusty nail but other than that, no.

This final tunnel must lead to Scrooge's lair. Follow me ...

Bash, wait! Something smells fishy!

You suspect an ambush?

Well (sniff) ...it's definitely bush...(sniff) ...

... a faint odour of hormones and sweat coming from behind that door...(sniff) there are two women in there.

Right! Let's burst in...NOW!

The Crown Jewels Part III: A Slippery Encounter

Belle End and Tess Tease have got their hands on the Crown Jewels - with Bash Helmet and Flick Faster in hot pursuit ...

@BashHelmet What an excellent Pride this year! I had great fun.





@FlickFaster Even if you did get wet a couple of times!

I couldn't help it – did you SEE some of those hot gals there?!

But no sign of Belle End or Tess Tease!

No – so there's only one other place they would have gone ...

To the best fence in all of England - The Handler!

Turn up at his place with loaded sacks and he'll handle the goods!


Later ...

Right – this is where The Handler hangs out. Let's go inside.

Bash, the knob...it's all greasy.

Sorry, but we did just come from Brighton Pride – oh, you mean the door.

The Handler's entrance is covered in some sort of lubricant.

I'm going in!

This whole room is plastered in slippery gunk.

There's only one person I know who leaves this kind of deposit...FLICK, LOOK OUT!

A man barged past me and I slipped on the floor.

You OK?

Yes. I ended up in the splits - first time a guy ever got THESE legs to spread!

As I suspected, it was Brandon Marlo, aka Butterfingers. We last tangled in Paris!




He's going down the fire escape.

I've got just the thing to stop him down my shorts ...

What are you pulling out from there? Oh, a banana.

Let me just pull back the skin ... there. Now, I'd better peel the banana.

Quick, Bash! Butterfingers has reached the pavement. He's running away!

Not for long. I just need to throw ... NOW!

Wow – you are a magnificent tosser! That banana skin has landed right in front of Butterfingers.

As I planned, he slid on the peel and fell to the ground!

Hah! His hands are so slippery, he can't pull himself up! Good thinking, Bash!

...


@BashHelmet Butterfingers took quite a tumble there, Bash. His ankles were up over his ears!

Ahhhh, Paris...

Nice interrogation technique. He was desperate not to tell you the reason he was here!

I just got in his face and kept pushing until he spat it out.

Butterfingers said he heard about Belle and Tess' little caper and decided to chase after the Crown Jewels himself!

Like us, he figured the girls would leave the goods with the Handler. But they hadn't!

No. It seems Butterfingers forced him to open his safe but there was only a forged painting inside.

Some Old Master that he'd just touched up, no doubt.

So where's The Handler now?

He managed to give Butterfingers the slip.

(Sigh) Then we've hit a dead end!

Not quite. There's one man who has eyes and ears all over London. If he's heard there's an interesting package in town, he'll look into it!

You can't mean ... that Victorian villain ... that Dickensian devil ...

Yes – Bedageezer Scrooge! Let's go!