Flick Faster in Pine Woods

Last time on the tweetventures: Lady Garden found herself soundly plucked by Flick Faster; but will Lady Garden escape? Read on...

FlickFaster @Bashhelmet Flick to Bash! Just to let you know, I have apprehended Lady Garden

I am currently at Pines Wood. Although looking at what's going on around me, the first two vowels should be swapped round. Over!

BashHelmet @FlickFaster Pines Wood, eh? Can't say I've heard of it. Over!

Really? The guys down here keep asking me if they'll see you Saturday night as usual! Over!

Ahem! Anyway, I'm about to cart Drag Racer back to jail. Will see you back at Bash HQ. Over!

OK Bash, I...oh, there's a strange man in a long black cloak coming towards me...

Now he's whipping out a long stick with a pulsating end...

That's not unusual for Pines Wood...waitaminute! Is he wearing a top hat?


Why, yes he is! You know him?

GET OUT OF THERE NOW! That's Fagracadabra, the Mo'gician.

Oh my..! Bash, he just yelled “Gay Presto!” and touched Lady Garden with the tip of his wand!

Her legs vanished and she crawled off leaving a trail of slime. I think she was changing into a garden snail!!

Whatever you do, do not let him poke you with his wand!

You know that I don't let ANY man do that! Ooohhhh, I've tripped over. No! No! Get that away from me, get......

Flick? Flick? Don't worry, I'm on my way! Just stay calm and keep your channel open!

Flick Faster has been having a tweetventure of her own!

FlickFaster I couldn’t tell Bash that I’m also about to confront a villain – Lady Garden!

That plant controlling pest is trashing pansies in the local woods! Time to show her a few greenfingering moves of my own!

Unggff! Just when I thought I had the upper hand, she’s closed her enormous flytrap around my wrists.

I can’t beat around the bush – I have to get out of this now!

Ha! Garden made a mistake by exposing her pussy willow!

If I can just get my fingers free, I should be able to deflower her!

Lady Garden has been soundly plucked!

Once she’d stopped smiling, Lady Garden confessed that someone put her up to this.

Apparently, she received payment and instructions through the grapevine. A mystery indeed!

An Encounter with Drag Racer!

BashHelmet Damn! Drag Racer managed to swerve around behind me! Now he’s ramming into me with his hot rod! 

Luck is on my side! He’s blown his tyres!

He looked terrified as his car swerved off the road! He will have left plenty of skidmarks for me to follow.

Caught up with Drag Racer – he survived the crash with just a few chipped nails.

Still, he’s not going down easy – he may look like a woman but he always has a trick up his skirt.

Drag Racer is proving to be quite a handful!

He’s an impressive fighter, using martial arts in designer high heels – a technique he calls Kung Choo!

Phew – Am sitting in a sweaty heap on top of a limp transvestite. Man, I feel drained!

Worryingly, just before he passed out, Drag admitted that someone was behind his prison break but he doesn’t know who! Hmmmmm….

Tweetventure of Bash Helmet & Flick Faster

On Sunday 27th June 2010, Bash Helmet used Twitter for the first time to communicate with Flick Faster:

BashHelmet @FlickFaster Bash Helmet to Flick Faster. Bash Helmet to Flick Faster… Are you receiving me? Over! 1:53 PM Jun 27th

FlickFaster @BashHelmet Flick Faster to Bash Helmet. I’m receiving you proud and queer! What’s up? Over! 1:55 PM Jun 27th

@FlickFaster Am currently on the tail of Drag Racer! He’s taking me up a dirt road and trying to shake me off! Over!

@BashHelmet Drag Racer? I thought that transvestite tearaway was enjoying a long stretch behind bars? Over!

@FlickFaster Well, he’s not inside anymore! Police issued an APB for a man in a dress and high heels but they arrested Naomi Campbell! Over!

@BashHelmet C’mon, Bash – nothing can cruise faster than the Bashmobile. You’ll have him rear-ended in no time! Over!

Roger that, Flick! Am closing in on his bumper as we speak! Better sign off now as I need to come down hard on him! Over and out!

Hello Helmeteers!

I’m absolutely thrilled to see Bash Helmet and Flick Faster on Twitter… they’ve been gone too long! I’ll be following their tweetventures and preserving them here.