Tuesday 29 June 2010

Flick Faster in Pine Woods

Last time on the tweetventures: Lady Garden found herself soundly plucked by Flick Faster; but will Lady Garden escape? Read on...

Flick Faster FlickFaster @Bashhelmet Flick to Bash! Just to let you know, I have apprehended Lady Garden

Flick Faster I am currently at Pines Wood. Although looking at what's going on around me, the first two vowels should be swapped round. Over!

Bash Helmet BashHelmet @FlickFaster Pines Wood, eh? Can't say I've heard of it. Over!

Flick Faster Really? The guys down here keep asking me if they'll see you Saturday night as usual! Over!

Bash Helmet Ahem! Anyway, I'm about to cart Drag Racer back to jail. Will see you back at Bash HQ. Over!

Flick Faster OK Bash, I...oh, there's a strange man in a long black cloak coming towards me...

Flick Faster Now he's whipping out a long stick with a pulsating end...

Bash Helmet That's not unusual for Pines Wood...waitaminute! Is he wearing a top hat?


Flick Faster Why, yes he is! You know him?

Bash Helmet GET OUT OF THERE NOW! That's Fagracadabra, the Mo'gician.

Flick Faster Oh my..! Bash, he just yelled “Gay Presto!” and touched Lady Garden with the tip of his wand!

Flick Faster Her legs vanished and she crawled off leaving a trail of slime. I think she was changing into a garden snail!!

Bash Helmet Whatever you do, do not let him poke you with his wand!

Flick Faster You know that I don't let ANY man do that! Ooohhhh, I've tripped over. No! No! Get that away from me, get......

Bash Helmet Flick? Flick? Don't worry, I'm on my way! Just stay calm and keep your channel open!

Flick Faster has been having a tweetventure of her own!

Flick Faster FlickFaster I couldn’t tell Bash that I’m also about to confront a villain – Lady Garden!

Flick Faster That plant controlling pest is trashing pansies in the local woods! Time to show her a few greenfingering moves of my own!

Flick Faster Unggff! Just when I thought I had the upper hand, she’s closed her enormous flytrap around my wrists.

Flick Faster I can’t beat around the bush – I have to get out of this now!

Flick Faster Ha! Garden made a mistake by exposing her pussy willow!

Flick Faster If I can just get my fingers free, I should be able to deflower her!

Flick Faster Lady Garden has been soundly plucked!

Flick Faster Once she’d stopped smiling, Lady Garden confessed that someone put her up to this.

Flick Faster Apparently, she received payment and instructions through the grapevine. A mystery indeed!

An Encounter with Drag Racer!

Bash Helmet BashHelmet Damn! Drag Racer managed to swerve around behind me! Now he’s ramming into me with his hot rod! 

Bash Helmet Luck is on my side! He’s blown his tyres!

Bash Helmet He looked terrified as his car swerved off the road! He will have left plenty of skidmarks for me to follow.

Bash Helmet Caught up with Drag Racer – he survived the crash with just a few chipped nails.

Bash Helmet Still, he’s not going down easy – he may look like a woman but he always has a trick up his skirt.

Bash Helmet Drag Racer is proving to be quite a handful!

Bash Helmet He’s an impressive fighter, using martial arts in designer high heels – a technique he calls Kung Choo!

Bash Helmet Phew – Am sitting in a sweaty heap on top of a limp transvestite. Man, I feel drained!

Bash Helmet Worryingly, just before he passed out, Drag admitted that someone was behind his prison break but he doesn’t know who! Hmmmmm….

Tweetventure of Bash Helmet & Flick Faster

On Sunday 27th June 2010, Bash Helmet used Twitter for the first time to communicate with Flick Faster:

Bash Helmet BashHelmet @FlickFaster Bash Helmet to Flick Faster. Bash Helmet to Flick Faster… Are you receiving me? Over! 1:53 PM Jun 27th

Flick Faster FlickFaster @BashHelmet Flick Faster to Bash Helmet. I’m receiving you proud and queer! What’s up? Over! 1:55 PM Jun 27th

Bash Helmet @FlickFaster Am currently on the tail of Drag Racer! He’s taking me up a dirt road and trying to shake me off! Over!

Flick Faster @BashHelmet Drag Racer? I thought that transvestite tearaway was enjoying a long stretch behind bars? Over!

Bash Helmet @FlickFaster Well, he’s not inside anymore! Police issued an APB for a man in a dress and high heels but they arrested Naomi Campbell! Over!

Flick Faster @BashHelmet C’mon, Bash – nothing can cruise faster than the Bashmobile. You’ll have him rear-ended in no time! Over!

Bash Helmet Roger that, Flick! Am closing in on his bumper as we speak! Better sign off now as I need to come down hard on him! Over and out!

Hello Helmeteers!

I’m absolutely thrilled to see Bash Helmet and Flick Faster on Twitter… they’ve been gone too long! I’ll be following their tweetventures and preserving them here.